I have invented the best new sport ever.

I have a new project that is at the forefront of my mind and is only too necessary for the advancement of humankind.

Banana golf. A delicious new sport where the striker, slishes a Naner (a frozen chunk of banana roughly fashioned into a sphere) with a golf club, attempting to dislodge, knock over, or otherwise upset a glass bottle.

The glass bottle shall be set up by the striking player, to any degree of difficulty. Each slish of the set-up after the initial slish will decrease the floog by 25%, until zero floog are reached; a total of five slishes per set-up.

A successful upset allows for one floog and an attempt for a Poontangle, where a Naner is slished at a target and bonus floogs awarded for sound and distance. A loud sound is one floog, a breaking sound is one floog, and a chain reaction sound worth one floog; a relatively far slish adds one floog and an amazingly far slish worth two floogs. If the target of the Poontangle is called, its cumulative floogs are increased by 25%. However, if the Poontangle target is not called, then its cumulative floogs are decreased by 50%.

Challenge Poontangles may be called by spectators and other players for the striker to hit a certain target, and if successful, will increase by 75% the cumulative floogs from the Poontangle. All distance and sound qualifiers apply as per usual

A Poontangle Bumsrush Challenge can be called where the Poontangling striker must attempt to hit another player or spectator that will attempt to bumsrush the striker from a distance of one hundred paces. If the bumsrusher succesfully tackles or throws the Poontangler, no floogs are awarded. If the Poontangler hits the bumsrusher with the Naner, an automatic fifteen floogs are awarded, and the Bumsrush Challenge ends.

The match shall last until dusk, after which all floogs will be tallied, and extra floogs awarded to the striker with the loudest slish scream.

There is more to come...I am only sharing my great ideas with you, my Dear Readers. Please keep reading and I will soon have the ratified version of the game in a downloadable form. I am also accepting ideas and suggestions for the development of this exciting new sport. Please comment freely and often.